December 29, 2010
| love + happiness |
mom: according to wikipedia, "it is challenging to define a mother to suit a universally accepted definition."
my mom - our world. our rock. our savior.
why does it take until you have your own children to realize it? i've been struggling with this question for years. i say "our" because she is everyone's mom. mine, my children, her nieces and nephews, her 7 grandchildren, her friends. she is mom to everyone who is blessed to be in her presence.
this year was the worst year of my life. there is no debate in my mind, nothing to compare it to. i almost lost my alexandra. it is a blur, it is a nightmare however my mom allowed ME to be mom. i could not have survived without her.
i look at my sister and the incredible mom she is. our common denominator is our mom. i do not doubt she would tell you she is who she is, loves the way she loves because of our upbringing. i look at the women who raised us, grandma, my tia's and i am in complete awe of who they are, what they represent and how to this day enrich my life. i am in awe of them all.
after alexandras hospitalization i made a decision that will fill me with guilt for the rest of my life. just one day out of the hospital and i left for mexico for "a lot of work." i didn't want to go. i called mom and said, "i need you with me. i can't do this by myself." she didn't flinch. she went home and packed her bags.
we left at 5am the next morning on a flight to puerto vallarta to fulfill the commitment i made to my clients. the entire trip is a blur. o i remember the beauty of it, i remember the smell of the pacific ocean and i remember mom desperately trying to keep me calm. i remember the guilt i felt because i knew she didn't want to be there. but she's mom. that's what she does.
i could go on and on and on about my mom and what she does and continues to do for me, but i will sum up this post with what the last 20 years of our relationship has meant to me. she is my go-to person. she is the woman who i blame for my addiction to parties and good wine. and she is the woman who still holds me, wipes my tears and tells me everything is going to be okay.